Carnival Glory, Karaoke Chaos, and Atlantis Adventures: A Family Reunion We’ll Never Forget

Let me set the stage: Carnival Glory, headed to the Bahamas, packed with 19+ of my relatives for our family reunion, most of whom I hadn’t seen in years — and a few I didn't even know existed. With suitcases full of matching t-shirts, snacks we didn’t need, and dreams of sunburned memories, we boarded the ship like excited kids on a field trip. What followed? A whirlwind of water slides, karaoke dreams, disappearing swimsuits, and an inner tube journey that had people clapping — but not for the right reasons.

Night One: Karaoke and the Unexpected Beyoncé

Every cruise has karaoke. But on Carnival Glory, it felt more like "America’s Got No Talent." That is, until my cousin hit the stage. Most folks before her made dogs whimper and ears bleed, but she stepped up, grabbed the mic, and BLEW. THE. CROWD. AWAY. Like, jaws-dropped, phones-out, standing-O kind of energy. I’m pretty sure someone offered her a record deal right after. We had to remind her she’s got kids and a mortgage back home.

Water Slide Woes and Bikini Blunders

Now, while one cousin was living her American Idol fantasy, another was having a different kind of unforgettable moment. You see, the ship’s water slide is no joke. She zipped down that thing like a torpedo... and came out missing her bikini top. Bless her heart, she just stood there in shock while someone’s grandma gasped and covered her husband’s eyes. We now refer to it as “The Great Top Drop of 2025.”

Atlantis: Where Dreams Come True (Unless You Take the Water Taxi)

Once we docked in Nassau, we were hyped for our day at Atlantis. We booked the Day Pass, caught a charming little water taxi, and off we went — excited for adventure and marine-life envy. The only problem? No one mentioned that the water taxi doesn't return you to the dock. Nope. It drops you off in the township. As in: “Good luck figuring this out” territory. So when it was time to get back to the ship, the look on everyone’s face was part “Home Alone airport scene,” part “Survivor: Atlantis Edition.” Thanks for the cardio, mystery boat man!

Sharks, Slides, and Sudden Public Humiliation

Now, I’ve got to tell you about The Challenge Slide at Atlantis — a dueling slide that’s basically a race between two people who clearly have something to prove. My wife and I took off like Olympic competitors. She smoked me, obviously. But I didn’t go down without drama — I tripped before getting on the inner tube for the shark tank slide and landed like a cartoon character. Everyone clapped. Not because I was brave. But because I fell. Publicly. In front of strangers. Then I got up, got on the tube with my pride deflated, and went through the shark tunnel while being laughed at by my own kids.

The Lazy River of Redemption

After that, I needed to recover — and Atlantis’ lazy river was the answer. Gentle current, lush views, no wardrobe malfunctions. Peace, at last. Plus, the food inside Atlantis was chef’s kiss. From fresh seafood to massive burgers to tropical drinks that made you forget you ever had a job.

Casino Temptation and Cruise Comebacks

The casino at Atlantis was flashing at us like a neon siren. But we reminded ourselves: “Why lose money here when we can take it from the ship?” And we did. $300 in winnings, thank you very much, Carnival. Drinks were on us — until our Sail & Sign card said otherwise.

The Comedy Show That Bared It All

Ahhh, Carnival Glory. Where the drinks flow freely, the karaoke nights go hard (whether they should or not), and the comedy shows? Let’s just say they’re not for the faint of heart—or the fully clothed.

So there we were, packed into the comedy club, drinks in hand, ready to laugh off our buffet-induced bloating. The comedian was just hitting their stride, roasting cruise culture, talking about that weird guy who always takes the stairs two at a time, and everyone was loving it.

Then... THUMP.

A sound so loud it echoed off the walls like a bowling ball hitting the floor of a library. We all turned toward the source, a mix of concern and curiosity plastered across our faces. A young lady had just taken a nosedive off her chair and was now sprawled on the floor, laughing like it was the best seat in the house.

At first, we were relieved—she was okay!

Then we noticed... She had come to the show completely underprepared.

As in, she had no undergarments to speak of and her skirt was more suggestion than fabric. Legs spread like the Titanic’s final coordinates; it was a full moon in the middle of a Carnival comedy show.

The comedian didn’t miss a beat. Pointing at her and then back at the audience, she exclaimed: "Girl, you alright?! And also… WHERE ARE YOUR CLOTHES?!”

The room exploded. People were crying. One guy snorted a piña colada through his nose. Couples held on to each other like they were going through rough seas. The comedian, now fully in roast mode, pointed at her and added, "Ladies and gentlemen, THIS is what the unlimited drink package gets you on Carnival!”

As the mystery woman stood—proud, fearless, and probably three Bahama Mamas deep—she didn’t slink out quietly like any of us would have. No. She turned toward the stage, pulled up her skirt, and hit the comedian (and the audience) with a twerk so powerful it might've registered on the Richter scale.

The room. Went. Nuts.

Security gently escorted her out, and the comedian shook his head, still cracking jokes like, "I thought this was a comedy show, not a live audition for Magic City.”

Ladies and gentlemen, this wasn’t just a Carnival Glory cruise. This was a floating reality show. And that night, the real headliner wasn’t the comedian—it was the fearless, panty-less party queen of Deck 5.

Moral of the story?

If you're headed to the Carnival Glory comedy show, bring your laugh, your drink, and for the love of all things ocean-themed—your underwear.

Reunion Vibes and Surprise Family

We laughed, danced, ate, sang, and made memories with cousins we hadn’t seen in forever — and even met a few for the first time. There’s something magical about a family reunion at sea: no one can ghost you, and everyone’s forced to eat dinner together. Bless the buffet.

Encore: JW Marriott Grande Lakes, Orlando

You’d think we’d had enough water by now. Nope. We disembarked the ship, said goodbye to the Bahamas, and made our way to the JW Marriott Orlando, Grande Lakes. As if Atlantis didn’t spoil us enough, this gorgeous resort rolled out the red carpet with its own lazy river and water park.

Dinner that night? PRIMO. A Michelin-rated restaurant led by award-winning chef Melissa Kelly. Authentic Italian food, organic ingredients, perfect wine pairings, and a staff that treated us like royalty. My only complaint? I couldn’t smuggle the chef home with me.

Final Thoughts

This cruise was more than a vacation — it was a comedy special, a reality show, and a family reunion all wrapped into one. From karaoke queens to wardrobe malfunctions, shark slides to Michelin-starred ravioli — we’ll be laughing about this trip for years.

If you’ve never done a cruise with your crazy family, I highly recommend it. Just make sure your swimsuit fits, your voice is warmed up, and your water taxi has a return trip.

Bon voyage and bring backup clothes.